My New Manifesto

Sometimes you've got to let everything go – purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you'll find that when you're free, your true creativity, your true self comes out. ~ Tina Turner.

The other night I was watching Conan and they were doing a gag wherein Bruce Jenner, some crabs, and a hoarder (from the A&E show "Hoarders") welcome Conan O'Brien to basic cable. I just about died laughing when the hoarder came into the frame. Her squirrely expression was just priceless. Without saying a word, she managed to convey a kind of crazy covetousness. If I ever become a hoarder, I vow to adopt just such a paranoid expression. If you're going to be balls out weird, you might as well make people laugh, right?

In the present day, even though I am not too worried about anyone taking my crap, I can relate to how hard it can be to get rid of things. There are so many potential blocks – sentimentality, frugality, uncertainty, fear that we might throw something away and then need it later. If I am going to be honest, I definitely have some messy, packratty tendencies. At the same time, I don't like it. It makes me feel bogged down and eventually even tense and unproductive. Somehow an environment just feels less peaceful when there is too much stuff vying for space.

When my environment gets too cluttered, it starts to become distracting. I find it difficult to work or even think. So, I have decided that the best thing I can do to encourage the new period of productivity I hope to start is to let go of some of my clutter. I mean that both figuratively and literally, but since it's easier to clear my physical space, I am starting with that. So, I spent the greater part of the morning cleaning out my closet and developing my manifesto. Why? Because it was overflowing with things I neither wear nor need and everything is more fun when a manifesto is involved! Plus, if I don't give myself some rules, I will just end up getting stuff out and putting it away again without getting rid of anything.

So here is my decluttering manifesto:

• Be merciless. If it is ugly, has bad associations, makes me feel bad, or if I haven't used it in a year or don't plan to use it in the next, get rid of it.
  
• Be realistic. If it is doesn't fit, doesn't look good or doesn't fit my life- or personal style, it needs to be released.
  
• Be generous. Sometimes we outgrow things. If that's the case, let them go and don't be a hoarder. If I am done enjoying something, donate it and give someone else a turn.
  
• Be discriminating. I don't have to get rid of everything. It is ok to keep something simply because I like it or because its associations make me feel good. Just make sure it is something I really want and that it has a spot.
  

This approach has lightened my closet by three large trash bags full of clothes. Stacey and Clinton would be proud! I didn't quite get to shoes, but there is always tomorrow. This is just one piece of a multi-step decluttering process, and that is okay. Tonight I go to bed with my clothes arranged by color. Now I can actually see what I have, know what I need, and can feel confident when I pull something out that it fits right and is flattering. Funny how something as small as organizing the closet can even make you feel better about not just your environment, but yourself.

July was not a great month for blogging, but it was a great month for thinking about food. On July 3rd, an open copy of a magazine on the coffee table happened to catch my eye. It was PETA's monthly newsletter, which happened to feature a little blurb about Alicia Silverstone's book The Kind Diet. After reading on the Kind Life website that the book is about "living your healthiest and happiest life to the fullest, while taking care of mama Earth at the same time", I decided I needed to read Silverstone's book about making the transition to veganism. After all, the whole point of this little blogging project of mine is to explore the things that make life happy and good. Health plays a big part in that and I have no beef (sorry, I am lame and couldn't resist) with mama Earth. In fact, I kinda like her! That is probably why I came home from the bookstore with not only The Kind Diet, but also a copy of Jeffrey Masson's The Face on Your Plate.

That's right, while millions of my fellow Americans were out in the backyard grilling and enjoying burgers, ribs and hot dogs, I was the lone weirdo inside the house reading about vegetarianism, veganism and factory farms. And, wouldn't you know it, while I was taking a reading break, the awesome in so many ways Jane Velez Mitchell came on with an hour long Issues devoted to animal welfare and featuring disturbing footage of what goes on in factory farms. There was onee particularly disturbing set of images featuring a miserable excuse of a human being punching cows and poking them in their swollen udders with a pitchfork. Can you imagine how much that must hurt? I don't want my milkshake with a side of senseless abuse, thank you very much. Combined with what I'd been reading, these images disturbed me so much that I quit eating animal products of any sort for about three weeks.

It really made me think. What makes that cow any different from the dogs who share my home? Anyone who knows me will tell you that I spoil them beyond belief. They sleep in my bed. I know their personalities, their quirks, the things they like, the things that piss them off. They are not just pets, but family members. I would never even consider giving them away, let alone eating one of them. And, yet, there are places in the world where people would eat them. And what's the difference? I live in a culture where it's okay to eat a hamburger, but not a dog sandwich.

Like most people in this country, I have been a meat eater most of my life. I have enjoyed countless burgers, Thanksgiving turkeys, and German sausages. I have also loved animals for as long as I can remember, which has occasionally led to conflict. I remember as a kid, how we'd always stop at this restaurant on the way to Mt. Hood with my uncle and aunt. The walls were adorned with these awful dead animal heads that turned my stomach. Who wants to eat pancakes and sausage under the vacant gaze of a dozen dead deer? Not me. It always upset me so much I sure couldn't, which is saying a lot, considering I was (and am) a chubster, who enjoyed her food. I've just never been someone who could sit in a cow pasture e ating a hamburger. I can't eat meat, thinking about where it came from. It turns my stomach. I have always thought that I would become a vegetarian in a second if I ever had to hunt my own meat. I couldn't do it.

It is funny how we create ways to help ourselves ignore that the meal on our plate was once a living creature. We eat hamburgers, beef, pork, venison, mutton, and veal instead of cows, pigs, deer, sheep and calves. Of course, we also eat chicken, lamb and fish. I wonder why? It can't be because they're not as cuddly. What is cuddlier than a sweet, little lamb? That is probably why I have had a long standing no lamb/veal policy that started back in my early 20's when first learned about how veal calves spend their short, weakened existences in dark stalls tethered to short chains, living (if you can call it that) in their own diarrhetic filth.

Wait until they grow up to eat them, right? And yet . . .

I realize how hypocritical this is. Is it any kinder to wait until an animal grows up and experiences a lifetime of mistreatment before killing it? And it's not only the animals we raise for meat that are mistreated in factory farms. Chickens are kept in overcrowded, tiny cages. Dairy cows are so prone to mastitis (even if it is treated and homogenized, do you think those milking machines keep the infection out of our milk?) that they are routinely fed antibiotics as a preventive measure. Add this to the long laundry list of hormones, chemical and preservatives we put into all of our food in this country and it's a real wonder that we're not all pickled by now.

The thing I am most grateful for about having been drawn into the Silverstone/Masson/Velez-Mitchell web of Independence Day of learning is the deeper examination of what it is that I eat, not only terms of the meat question but also the types of frankenfoods I have routinely put into my body without thought. I am not ready to call myself a vegan or even a vegetarian. I won't even lie and say that I haven't jumped off the no animal product wagon a time or two, but my diet really has been mostly vegetarian (for some stretches even vegan) for the past month now. I am just a person stumbling along, trying to find the path to health, happiness and a clear conscience. The truth is that all of this is a learning process and I am still figuring out where I will land. What I do know is that making a conscious choice to eat in a kinder more sustainable way can only be right and beautiful.

And to end on a happier note, because this post has contained a lot of unpleasant material, if you have a Trader Joe's near you, their mango-vanilla soy ice cream is delicious with cake, fresh berries and mint.

Happy Solstice

The grey Oregon sky might have belied it, but Monday was the summer solstice. The summer picnics and bonfires in my head never made it out of the cerebral planning stages, but I did manage to make it out for the flowers that now decorate my living room. There was also spinach, tomatoes and peppers and a lemon tart for after dinner, but no one was hungry enough to eat them that night. We are lucky to live in place with so much abundance that we can skip a meal and not miss it.

And in the grey, the garden is a riot of color and sound. Birds have nested in the houses on the front porch, filling the air with their song. My favorite is the currently vacant chickadee house nestled among twisting clematis vines. The lack of chickadees is more than balanced by little sparrows, goldfinches, scrub jays, and starlings. Later there will be (I hope there will be) hummingbirds. I haven’t seen any yet this year, but hope is eternal.

My home may not be fancy, but it is mine. The garden is an oasis of green grass, rose petals, snapdragons, enthusiastic canines and miniature fruit trees. The birds insist on eating the cherries before we can get to them, but that is okay. The plum tree, which bears the most golden sweet plums you ever tasted, rarely bears fruit. I think perhaps it decided to retire, having already given birth to the perfect plum.

There are corners for reading, listening to the birds, and even a table for eating al fresco. It is my favorite spot, especially now that the grey solstice sky has faded to be replaced by the sun. I think I will grab a book, some crackers, and some left over spinach dip and soak it in.

Easy Spinach Dip

1 brick of cream cheese, softened

2 cups grated sharp cheddar or monterey jack

1/3 cup milk

1 T roasted or fresh jalapeno pepper, chopped

2 chopped tomatoes

1 10-oz box of frozen, chopped spinach, thawed

Stir ingredients together until well mixed. Cocktail shrimp or artichokes make a nice addition. Bake at 375ish in a baking dish for about a half hour until gooey and delicious. If you are dieting, eat in the dark, so the calories cannot find you.

Let There Be Light!

Have you ever considered, I mean really considered, the idea that the universe is a benevolent place filled with beauty and wonder? Think about it. We live in a world where people are filled with (but admittedly don’t always use) an enormous capacity to love. It is a world with sunsets, poetry, peacocks, laughter, music. It has its less pretty moments too, but often that is because people choose to create ugliness rather than embrace beauty. It is so easy to get bogged in the little things that go wrong and “ruin” a day, but how often do we stop to think about all that has gone right?

Rob Breszny posits this beautifully in “Glory in the Highest”, a love letter to the beneficent nature of the universe from his book Pronoia. Every breath we take, every beat of our heart, every feeling we feel, every bite we taste of life is but one of a million small miracles that happen every day. But how often do we stop to appreciate or even acknowledge them?

The truth is that I don’t. I get stressed, wrapped up in my work, completely selfish and blind to the wonder around me. I get crabby. I complain. I succumb to my vast reserves of angst. I let my mind stand in the way of my self having fun. I am so busy thinking of reasons to say "no" that I forget to say "YES!". But I am tired of being tired. And I am tired of cynicism and skepticism. I am tired of ruts. I am tired of negativity. And I am ready for the dawn.

I know there is darkness out there, but every ray of light we put out leaves a little less shadow. So, I am trying something new. I am raising the blinds and making a conscious choice to let in the light and illuminate the dark that creeps into my spirit. It is this darkness that makes me sometimes forget to enjoy life and do my small part of make the world a more beautiful place than it was before I entered it. This is not about grand, sweeping gestures, but an intentional shift toward actions and attitudes that embrace positivity and kindness. And that is what living should be about – gratefully savoring and intentionally seeking out the sweet scents, the spine tingling sounds, the bright spectrum of peacock colors that make life wonderful.

The Peacock Project

When I was a little girl visiting my grandparents in Berlin, my mother would take me to Pfaueninsel (Peacock Island) to visit the little palace Friedrich Wilhelm II had built as a love nest for himself and his mistress. It was always an exciting trip, because you had to take a ferry to get there and because the island is home to a few dozen peacocks.

For as long as I can remember, I have loved peacocks. I am not certain whether this is tied my memories of these visits or simply because they are such beautiful, majestic creatures. Either way, I have an inordinate fondness for these birds. Just look at them! Not only do they sport some of the most beautiful colors found on wildlife, but the infrastructure that allows them to fan their tails is pretty amazing on its own. If you don't believe me (and if you can avert your eyes from the splendor that is the front), try looking at the fan from the back. You'll find an amazing array of feathers with different colors, textures and purposes. Everything has its purpose and it all works together to create a beautiful whole.

For me, these creatures are emblematic of happy childhood memories, relaxing days in the country, picnics, and the beauty to be found in nature and in life. In a world of heavy work schedules and overtime, we sometimes forget about these things. And that is really why I created this blog - as a reminder for myself to find and focus on the things that make life better. After all, to write about them, I have to slow down to allow myself to experience them!